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  • Writer's pictureThe Gimp

Top 10: Cats Vs. Kids

That's right. If you have an affinity for those little gargoyles (I was one, I should know), this ain't gonna be pretty.

  1. Just like kids, cats ignore you unless they want something or they're bored. Then all of a sudden, your computer keyboard is nice and warm.

2. Cats learn to climb things quicker. You can theoretically wash clothes that a baby puked on. Cats have claws and they don't mix with quality clothing.

3. Cats can eat out of their own bowl. For the first little while, you actually have to feed a baby. Granted, they don't have sharp claws or teeth that dig into you when they get tired of being held down.

4. Cats typically make smaller messes, if you set things up strategically.

5. Sorry, Moms. I have to get up early in the morning for these 2 as well. They wave their paw in my face at 3:30 AM until I get up out of bed to feed them.

6. What's yours is theirs when it comes to cats. And they can get on countertops, tables and...stoves. Kids can't jump that well and they usually can't reach the counter until they're old enough to learn etiquette.

7. When cats fight, they're Mike Tyson. When kids fight, it's usually with toys or other objects.

8. While cats and kids can both be indifferent to you a lot of the time, cats insist on watching whatever you're watching. Even if it makes the fan on your computer go crazy or the entire video shut down.

9. There's such a thing as "healthy treats" for cats. Kids might eat vegetables, but no kid has ever looked at veggies and dip the same way they look at potato chips, Mac and cheese, chocolate and soft drinks.

10. There are no dirty diapers. Just a litter box that needs to be changed whenever my phone gets a notification: Litter Robot!

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