top of page
  • Writer's pictureThe Gimp

The Planet Is Fine, The People Are ....

I'm not one of those delusional assholes who believes that climate change is a conspiracy cooked up by China or some other country some white evangelical wants to be racist against this week.

Obviously a healthy skepticism about everything is a good thing, but really, if you can't at least somewhat trust the scientists who genuinely study this stuff for a living and aren't in bed with Big Money, we're going to be living a very secluded life going forward.

Having said that, when I talk to an environmentalist, I usually agree on the science of it, but when you've been screwed over as much as I have and bullied as much as I have, that takes a toll on you. Whenever someone tells me that we have to "save the planet," my response, very coldly, is "For who?" I suppose people who call me "gimp" on the street and snicker and laugh at me don't actually deserve to die, but is it my problem to fight for their right to live? When it comes to that sort of thing, I am Ebenezer Scrooge. I don't necessarily want any harm to come to them, nor am I wishing for it, but if a boulder decides to roll its ass down a hill Indiana Jones style toward them, I'm not giving it a push, but I'm certainly not going to be the first one to get in the way of its path. Sorry, Assholes, you're on your own. I might even get some binoculars and a lawn chair with a velvet cushion. It's just the kind of guy I am. I like to be comfortable. And I'm disabled anyway. What the hell could I possibly do? Break the boulder's fall?

When I get back all the years I lost believing I was just one death in the family away from having a decent life, then we'll talk about what we can do to save the planet for a bunch of ungrateful pricks. And I haven't even gotten to the corporate stooges who are the real cause and culprits on this issue. I haven't been embarrassed publicly by a corporate criminal yet, but I'm sure that's coming.

I get it. Those bullies are victims of this economy and declining environment, too. But fuck 'em anyway. I'm not a violent person, but if someone went for one of those 2 for 1 deals, we could take care of both of those asswipes at once.

I'm joking. I never condone violence and the fact that I have to explain that to some Gen Z jerking off with a sock to YouTube sex scenes so he doesn't do something stupid pisses me off, too. You'll do what you want to do with or without my crippled ass, anyway. There's no song in the world that can make someone do something awful if they don't feel compelled to already.

Oh look - a 90s song about playing Barbie. Guess I have to go play Ken now. Too bad I'm not buff and plastic. But the song said it was fun, so I guess it is what it is. I know it's hard to convey sarcasm in any kind of writing, but come on, guys.

5 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page