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  • Writer's pictureThe Gimp

5 Biggest Assholes of 2022

As we're now comfortably into 2023, I thought we'd take a little look back at the biggest pieces of human garbage who earned their place on this list. I'm more than happy to give them the recognition they deserve. And as I'm an equal opportunity schmuck, I would have included a few females on this list, but I couldn't find anyone worthy enough. So you're off the hook now, Ladies. Don't you Ladies feel special?

5. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. I could have put a lot of US politicians here, but for being your typical right wing kook about such accepted and scientific things as homosexuality and gender issues, Ronnie seems to be poised to challenge former President Donald J. Trump.

4. Texas Senator Ted Cruz. The Canadian born in Canada's Dallas - Calgary, Alberta, is so unpopular, he's even unpopular in his own party. If you've got other assholes who think you're an asshole, you need to slow down your game a bit, Cowboy.

3. Fox News Commentator Tucker Carlson. That's right - the King of the Dogwhistles himself. The man who can't help not scaring old, white racists over such things as demographic changes and "traditional American values." Hey, Tucker, you how what a "traditional American value" is? Slavery. Genocide. Next!

2. Russian President Vladimir Putin. Yeah, that's right. He's on here. I'm not too hard on the guy, since he only started one war with a country that was at least at one time historically part of Russia. But I'm not going to pretend it wasn't a sociopathic, piece of shit move. How many countries does the US have active military personnel in again?

  1. You! Didn't see that one coming, did you? You professional, compulsive consumer. If you could look up from texting people you barely know for 5 minutes, you'd probably be able to do something about it, but we're all ADD now. Squirrel!

Did I miss anyone? Sound off in the comments and maybe I'll adjust it next year.

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