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  • Writer's pictureThe Gimp

10 Truisms About Living With Spina Bifida Hydrocephalus

  1. What's a nightclub? I can barely stand, let alone dance for an hour, then take your drunk ass back to my place after that. Okay. fine. I'll lay there and you do what you need to do. Mind Agnes and Winnie.

2. Nobody has ever said, even while intoxicated: "Wow, that's a hot gimp. I bet he's hung like a horse and can go all night!"

3. Please don't check out my ass. Don't even look at it. It makes me nervous and I like this pair of underwear.

4. Just because I have to sit down a lot doesn't mean I'm lazy.

5. Any questions?

6. I swear I'm not a pervert. I was just using you to break my fall to avoid cracking my head open.

7. I promise, I'm holding your hand because I like you - and in the event that I lose my balance, that works too.

8. Don't wait up for me. I'll be a while. Especially if I'm in the bathroom.

9. My stomach is like this most of the time.

10. Everything hurts. Can we trade bodies? I'm not transphobic.

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