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  • The Gimp

10 People/Things That Are Pissing Me Off, Volume I


10. People who read one or two unsubstantiated and uncorroborated conspiracy article or watch one conspiracy video on YouTube by some guy jerking off in his basement to photos of former US Presidents and suddenly they're lecturing you on how the world works. I'm going to need a second opinion, if you don't mind. And if you don't acknowledge their supposed omnipotence, bring on the patronization and condescension.

 



9. People looking for the easy fix. They think all of their problems can be solved by one human being. They don't want to hear facts or statistics, because that just makes them feel stupid, hopeless and inadequate. They just want someone to swoop in like Jesus and be their saviour. So they fall for the first rich person who steps up to the microphone in a suit, claiming to understand everyone's problems and how to solve them. The fewer details, the better. That's why identity politics is so effective. It doesn't matter what you're going to do for some underprivileged community, as long as you identify in some arbitrary way. There's a reason you have a hope in hell of winning an election. And by that time, you're not working for regular people anymore. You're working against them.


 

8. People who look at the micro without regard for the macro. In the last 20 years in the western world, some positive changes have occurred. We've become more inclusive under the law of people who don't fit the "traditional" narrative and diversity has become our strength. But how did we get here? Through the exercise of free speech and thought. Some people not associated with a societal ill looked at it, recognized it was deeply flawed and required rectification. They wouldn't stop talking about it until they changed people's hearts and minds. Now, of course, many of these same "guilty, white liberals" (as the Great Philosopher Carlin used to refer to them) are the same ones deputizing themselves as the language police. Former Pakistani schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai (below) changed the world with just her voice and her mind. She survived a gunshot to the head in her fight for girl's education.

Malala
Malala Yousafzai













7. Hypocrites who think the exercise of free speech is only for them. They'll stand outside and scream incoherent slogans about freedom, but the moment someone says something they disagree with, where are the police and why don't they have any pepper spray on them? I called them Freedumb Fighters.



6. Anyone who thinks their country, no matter what it is, is the "greatest country in the world." No, that's what you've been told to think. The typical, bland, general answer is "freedom." These are usually the same people who, like in #7, lose their collective minds when something doesn't go their way.

 

5. Politically correct porn. Sorry, I want this to be monetized at some point, so there's no image or video for this one. Man cannot live on bread alone. Or Halls Centres. Open up a new tab or window and amuse yourself.


Having said that, I don't watch anything of that sort where the female doesn't look like she's genuinely having a good time. But demanding over the top political correctness in porn is like asking McDonalds to become Whole Foods. It's McDonalds. Unless you're depicting an actual crime for someone's sick fantasies, we really don't need to be trying to polish a shit-log.




4. Corporate sports broadcasts. When I was growing up, we had the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, CBC Sports, a Government service, producing most of the sports content in Canada with TSN and CTV (now Rogers Sportsnet), private broadcasting companies, delivering whatever CBC wasn't interested in providing.


Back then, the private companies did a decent job covering all the secondary sports stuff, but CBC Sports was always the world class sports broadcaster.


In 2013, that all changed, when, under the Government of Stephen Harper's Conservative Party of Canada, the rights to Hockey Night In Canada were sold to Rogers Communications, owners of Rogers Sportsnet, in the usual right wing cost-cutting measure. Since then, the quality of the now-corporate broadcasts have taken a huge nosedive. The video ABOVE is the new HNIC intro, and BELOW is the classic, mid-90s version.


 

3. My teams never win anything. The BC Lions of the Canadian Football League haven't won the Grey Cup since 2011. The Canucks have been to the Stanley Cup Finals 3 times, going to Game 7 twice...and won nothing.

 

2. Wrestling, or sports entertainment (as you wish), sucks Ron Jeremy in 2023. I remember when you weren't ashamed to talk about wrestling at school or at home or at Starbucks. 2 separate shows were getting at least a 4.0 rating each for years, or 4% of US households, which is very good.


Sure, there's Maxwell Jacob Friedman and Ricky Starks on All Friends Play Wrestling and Rex Steiner and a few others in World "Wrestling" Entertainment. But I can watch their matches and promos after the fact. I'm not sitting through 2-3 hours of sheer lunacy for a 10 minute promo or match.


 
  1. Oh shit (literally).



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