10 People/Things That Are Pissing Me Off (22 Feb 2023)
Bathroom selfies. Why? Because half the time, the person is hiding their face. Also, I really don't want to look at someone I might be interested in and immediately imagine them having a Spina Bifida Moment in one of the stalls. Triggered! My apologies to all those hapless janitors out there. They're some of the few people I actually have sympathy for.
People think that because they stubbed their toe while masturbating at their desk at work (male or female?) they know what pain is and they can dismiss mine and any efforts to alleviate that pain is a sign to them of addiction.
People who watch one educational TV program by some bogus "expert," and suddenly they have license to lecture everyone on that topic. "You know, if you'd just eat less and go for a walk..." or "you know what your problem is?" Yes, I do. My problem is you. Piss off with your fascist, one size fits all fantasies. You're not brave for shaming someone over their weight. You're an ignorant fuck-stick. Congratulations. I'm here all week. Tip your waitresses. Oh right, you're watching Netflix and eating McDonald's. What were you saying again about diet and exercise?
Women who take the term "blow job" too literally. It's a popsicle, not a candle!
Guys who have a "type." It must be nice to be able to be that picky.
Guys who think they look fashionable in jeans that are tighter than their girlfriend's.
GPs who don't put repeats on routine, daily prescriptions that haven't changed in 20 years and might cause terrible withdrawal symptoms if I miss a dose. And then they go on vacation....
Lazy chick flicks that basically recycle every bad idea from a bad dick flick and plug a woman in a role that was otherwise written for a guy. They never do that in guy movies. There's no male version of Ripley from Alien. Why? Because that role was written for a woman and Sigourney Weaver killed it. It would be an embarrassment to remake that movie with some guy on steroids. If men deserve original stories, so do women. Go Ms Marvel.
Magnum condoms. I'll leave it at that.
I need to take a Tylenol.