10 People/Things That Are Pissing Me Off (1 March 2023)
Anyone who expects me to not occasionally say something racially ignorant. I'm white. We're lame and racially ignorant. It's how it is. Sometimes I'll say Chinese instead of Asian when I really should be saying Korean. Just watch Blazing Saddles and have a good laugh at white people's expense. I get it. We deserve it.
There's no show called Life Swap. We could replace Donald Trump and Joe Biden with Bernie Sanders and Tommy Douglas. No wait - Tommy was born in Scotland. Post racial society, my crippled ass. You can't even be from another country and lived all your life in America. Unless we're doing the "greatest country in the history of the world" horseshit again, having ideas from different kinds of people is always a good thing. Diversity is always a strength. If it makes some racist people uncomfortable, that's on them.
YouTube reactors who come on shirtless for a reaction video that doesn't require them to be shirtless. Yes, you look like you just had crack for breakfast. Next!
YouTube reactors, all male, who cart out their girlfriend or wife in a sexy outfit in a bid to get more views. Classless and disrespectful.
YouTube reactors who have clearly never seen Blazing Saddles, insist on acting like they just got back from a rap battle in the whitest part of Idaho by launching into "it's your boy/girl." Don't you know the history of that? Especially black guys or girls. That really makes no sense to me. A lot of white guys try to be black, and that makes sense to me as a white guy. Nobody wants to be lame. But when black people sound like they're the entertainment on a southern plantation somewhere in 1850, I start to cringe a bit. That's what happens when you're Canadian and actually learn history.
Skinny people who talk about how they ate too much or how good their trip to McDonalds was. First of all, McDonalds is shit. Second, thanks for rubbing it in that you can eat garbage and still be skinny, while I'm over here with my salad, ratatouille and smoothie hoping it doesn't make me gain a few pounds. In many cases, I don't eat anything. How do you like that? The only times I've ever lost weight, even as a competitive swimmer, was when I got really sick or had to lay in bed for weeks without food for whatever reason. So spare me your lecture about diet and exercise. I was there. Sometimes you wonder why you even try.
That slow, steady, deliberate walk to the bathroom after you take Senokot, just hoping that you make it in time so you don't have to contribute to a water shortage.
Guys who wear pants that would make the Bee Gees uncomfortable. Whatever happened to the Era of Extreme?
People who Tweet or Facebook a restaurant they are currently, physically eating at to ask a routine question. I don't give a rat's tiny schlong if you've been waiting for 5 minutes in a jam packed restaurant. I know you think this doesn't affect me, but someone on staff has to answer that stupid message, and now we all have to wait longer. And because of that, you're going to shit your pants, make a scene and ruin everyone's day. There's only one of us allowed to create a stench from their pants in public, and that's me.
Being a lightweight. Every since I got since and if I have more than one ounce of alcohol I feel it. It's hard to enjoy things anymore.