The Gimp Chronicles
Welcome To The Gimp Chronicles. Your worst nightmare. Or something like that. I really don't care. This blog isn't for you, anyway. If you enjoy it, great. If not, you can leave your rage-filled messages in the comment section or to firstname.lastname@example.org. I won't block or censor you, unless you're outright spam.
I believe in free speech, if nothing else. It keeps things interesting. You people amuse me. By "you people," I mean all of you. I'm not prejudiced. I hate all of you equally. Having said that, I don't speak for Wix, so you've been warned.
This monstrosity you see before you was created by me, The Gimp, otherwise known as Chris Thornycroft, otherwise known as The Guy Your Girlfriend or Wife Never Thinks About, so don't come after me when the baby isn't yours. You probably drove her to it, anyway. I'm a guy. I know how we are. The only difference between me and you is opportunity, I suppose.
Assuming you give a single rat's ass, which you probably don't, I was born with spina bifida hydrocephalus, ADHD and apparently a sarcastic sense of humour - or indifference. Who can tell these days?
What can I tell you? I grew up on British comedy in Vancouver, Canada. Not necessarily English - British. There's a difference. Look it up if you don't believe me. It includes English, but isn't exclusive of it. End of geography lesson. Hopefully, I can keep these to a minimum. I don't really care, but I know your time is probably a lot more valuable than mine.
I also had an abusive parent, who somehow didn't know he was abusive, but we'll get to that at some point, I guess.
Oh by the way - I curse. If that offends you, trust me - I've heard worse. Who do you think inspired the name of this shit-blog? I don't need to use words some theocrats find offensive, but I occasionally do. You have been warned.
I'm not racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic or xenophobic - I just hate everyone equally. We can't all be winners.